Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed
Starting the next chapter to a book that is never really finished, my life…motherhood.
Although my precious bubs is not due to arrive in this world until February, I already feel as though I am a mum. And I am sure that a lot of you felt the same with your first. The definition of a mother is a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth. But I think it starts before birth.
The moment I found out I was pregnant something in me instinctively changed. I started caring and worrying about this little life inside of me, who was not even the size of a blueberry yet. It seems hard to imagine. I became more cautious about things I was doing, eating and drinking. There was this instinct to protect. This feeling continued and still continues to grow throughout my last weeks of pregnancy. Now don’t get me wrong I did not curl up in a ball for nine months and stop doing everything. I worked up until before Christmas at my job and am still doing things around the farm to help out, which may involve the odd lifting, jumping fences and working with stock. But that first time I felt those little flutters of movement I knew it wasn’t just me anymore. It made it all the more real.
A few weeks ago someone said to me that she found that there was nothing glamorous about being pregnant. I beg to differ. I have never felt more beautiful and strong. Becoming a mum makes you realise you can do anything. There is an inexplicable love between a mother and child and it will only grow when bubs is in my arms. I have felt such raw and real emotion from total elation to immense fear and anxiety. Can I do this? Will I be a good mother? How will I know what to do? Be honest how many of you have felt this or asked yourself these same questions? It is a scary realisation sometimes – not knowing and trying to expect the unexpected. But every time I feel bubs kick the fear and anxiety is once again replaced by a love and excitement I cannot explain.
I am 36 weeks pregnant today and know that very shortly our lives will forever be changed. And I cannot wait to hold bubs in my arms. We do not know what we are having and I couldn’t be more excited to meet our precious little one. (I think it’s a girl, just because we cannot decide on a name -lol) We are as prepared as we can be for this next chapter and I am sure both my partner and I will have moments where we don’t think we can do this, but we can and we will. That is what family is about. Being strong and working together. We will get through and we will love with all of our hearts.
There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation.
-Pamela S. Nadav